The Real Best of Lexington 7.08.1998

The Real Best of Lexington 7.08.1998

Best of

Ace Readers’

The sad fact about the modern American small city is that it has none of the strength of the metropolis and all the ugly pettiness. Dismal streets, dismal lives. Thousands of drunkards in bars.

from Kerouac’s journals, February 25, 1949

Perhaps Kerouac’s mid-century musings on Poughkeepsie might not be every editor’s choice to kick off a “Best Of” anything issue. But he eloquently captures a prevailing sentiment that turned up in both last year’s poll and this one, i.e.,most people would far rather cast their votes for the WORST things about their city than the best.

People couldn’t wait to scratch out BEST restaurant service and write in their vote for the worst, for example. To be honest, I agreed with them, though I won’t reveal the “winner”-I just stopped eating there about two years ago.

As the interns tabulated the votes (special thanks to Janey Cowling and Candice Jackson) and we glanced through them, this negative attitude became a source of great debate around the ACE office. And the general consensus seemed to be, if people hate it here so much, why not just leave? We can’t all be trapped under something heavy or held here at gunpoint.

The people, places, and things here exert a certain amount of gravity-some more than others.

Best of

Works of art can often teach us things about ourselves we would rather not know.

-Sister Wendy (the art nun)

Lead photo by Peggy Blythe Winner Photos by Kopana Terry

ost things that “go without saying” rarely do, so far be it from us to belabor the obvious when it comes to the rocky year the arts community has just experienced.

Some trends that we spotted last year have only gotten worse. “Dance” for example, was a category that got almost no traffic last year-even less in this ballot. With the demise of the Lexington Ballet, and a movement afoot to begin a new dance troupe in town, this is clearly an area that requires both concern and support. The Ballet also won the category (hands-down) for best arts group to die a gruesome death in the last year. In other words, time to put your money where your mouth is if this is an area of arts and culture that we, as a community, consider vital.

As for theatre, Angels in America, because of its timing-won best theatre production both last year and this year. Coincidentally, the expense of mounting such a costly and ambitious production was obviously a contributing factor in the board’s controversial decision to purge its managing collective earlier this year. Actors’ Guild also got a lot of votes in the best arts group to die a gruesome death in the last year. Technically, that’s not accurate. Actors’ Guild does still exist and we’re heading out to Schoolhouse Rock later this evening to investigate for ourselves how the “evolution” or “revolution” is progressing.

We may be preaching to the choir here (as we like to think highly of our readers’ artistic and cultural sensibilities), but to put it bluntly, it’s time to put up or shut up. We get the art we deserve and if we can support three sold out nights of Garth Brooks (as we’ve pointed out in past issues and a reader pointed out in his essay), we surely ought to be able to sustain a community where all kinds of artists-visual, dance, theatre, and so on-can not just make a living, but thrive. And by visual art, let us just say ENOUGH with the pointy headed dogs already! But it’s getting to the point where slick salesmanship has become a successful substitute for true art, craft, and commitment-the practitioners of which are slowly dropping out of the scene from sheer exhaustion and the wacky assumption that marketing should take a back seat to actual art.

Caveat emptor.


Best New Gallery:

1. New Editions Gallery

(relocated actually) Owner Frankie York (l) had gallery in Dudley Square for nine years. She and Laura Hoop (r) moved to new location in Aug 97.

2. Tie: Millard’s Gallery (Fayette Mall)/State of the Arts (Tu rfland Mall)-prints, canvas transfers, and framing, some originals

Best Visual Art Exhibit in Last Year:
1. Nude 98 (Lexington Art League)

2. Gordon Gildersleeve

3. Musicians Through the Years at Alfalfa

Best Place to Buy Original Art:

1. Artique
Located in Civic Center and Lexington Green, Artique features the work of American artists and artisans.

2. Heike Pickett

3. Tie: Lexington Art League/New Editions/ Kentucky Gallery (below Actors’ Guild)

Best Artistic Photographer:
1. Guy Mendes

2. James Archambeault

3. Forrest Payne

Best Local Theater Production (in last year):
1. Angels in America

2. Three Sisters

3. The Glass Menagerie

Best Book by a Kentuckian in Last Year:
1. The Good Brother, by Chris Offut
(erroneously identified as everything from the Good Son to the Good Father to the Good Cousin-but we think this is the one the readers meant).

2. N is for Noose, by Sue Grafton

3. The New Kentucky Atlas (University Press)

Best Outdoor Sculpture:
1. Thoroughbred Park @ Main & Midland

2. Fire/Police Memorial

3. John Tuska-Fine Arts Building

Best Local Dance Performance (in last year):
1. Lexington Ballet’s Opening Series

2. Ballet Under the Stars

3. Nutcracker

Best Speaker/Lecture in Last Year:
1. Hodding Carter at UK

2. Kurt Vonnegut

3. Dixie Carter

Best University/College Music Series:
1. Next Stage

2. Spotlight Jazz

3. Centre’s Series

Best Local Filmmaker:
1. Jeremy Horton & George Maranville

2. Archie Borders (Louisville)

3. Walter Brock (Louisville)

Best Local Film in Last Year:
1. 100 Proof

2. Lawn Dogs

3. Tobacco Blues

Best Arts Group to Die a

Gruesome Death in Last Year:
1. Lexington Ballet

2. Actors’ Guild (though still in existence)

Best Non-Profit Group (arts or culture):
1. Lexington Art League

2. Actors’ Guild

3. Lexington Ballet

Biggest Loss: While Lexington has sustained its share of losses in the arts community this year (with the dissolution of the Ballet and the shakeup at Actors’ Guild), none will be as keenly felt as the death of John Tuska earlier this summer. But the legacy he left behind, as both an artist and a teacher, will live on. -RR

A REAL Best: Two Kentucky filmmakers were selected for PBS’s prestigious Point of View series this year: Walter Brock’s documentary If I Can’t Do It, and the Cafe Sisters’ Tobacco Blues. In the category of shameless self promotion, ACE’s story on Tobacco Blues was selected for the PBS website, and the still photography for the film earned ACE photographer Peggy Blythe her first photo credit in the New York Times. -staff


Lead photo by Peggy Blythe Winner Photos by Kopana Terry

n one of the American cinema’s finer examples of art imitating life, who can forget that scene in The Lonely Guy when poor Steve Martin decides to brave a restaurant meal in solitude? As soon as the maitre d’ finds out he’s alone, he is immediately bathed in the harsh, unforgiving blue glow of a spotlight as all the other diners halt their conversations to turn and stare at him. Ultimately he is forced to pretend he’s a restaurant critic in a futile, last-ditch effort to preserve his dignity. (And who among us hasn’t tried that?)

Perhaps Daffy Duck summed up the joys of culinary ecstasy best when he said, “I’m sooooo hungry. If only I knew someone who had some foooooooood.”

Therein lies the rub. We all have to eat, but not everyone is equipped with that hunter-gatherer gene that enables us to secure the appropriate pyramids of nutrients under our own power. This is why God invented restaurants.

Best Bagel:
1. Manhattan Bagel

2. Bagel Bay

3. Dooley’s

Best Date Restaurant:

1. a la lucie

2. Charlie Brown’s

3. Sine Qua Non

Best Restaurant within an Hour’s Drive:

1. Amelia’s Field

2. Hall’s on the River

3. Lynn’s Paradise Cafe

Best Restaurant Service:

1. Sine Qua Non
Unfortunately, we think Sine Qua Non is Sine Qua Gone. Too bad everyone who voted for them didn’t show up frequently enough to keep them in business.

2. Tie: Mason’s, a la lucie

3. Dudley’s

Best Bar/Restaurant Patio:
1. Merrick Inn

2. Dudley’s

3. Tie: Cheapside, Atomic Cafe


Best Veggie-friendly Restaurant:

1. Dutch Mill

2. Oasis

3. Everybody’s


Best Egg Roll:

1. Hunan

2. Wind

3. Pacific Pearl


Best Place to Take Your Tums:

1. Tolly Ho

2. Tonio’s

3. Meadowthorpe Café


Best latte:

1. Beaners

2. Coffee Times

3. Common Grounds


Best haute cuisine:

1. Mason’s

2. a la lucie

3. “no such thing in Lexington”


Best Place to Throw a Party:

1. Bell House

2. Parker Place

Honorable mention: “my pants”


Best Wine List:

1. Dudley’s

2. Mason’s

3. Merrick Inn

Best Place for Business Lunch:

1. Phil Dunn’s Cookshop
Phil Dunn cleans up as he ranks number one as Best Caterer and best site for a business lunch.

2. DeSha’s

3. Dudley’s


Best Martini:
1. Pacific Pearl

2. Roy and Nadine’s

3. Regina’s Club & Cafe

Best (most) Original Menu:

1. Mason’s
Chef John Schweder studied at the French Culinary Institute in New York. He came back to Lexington and with his Mother, Kay Doll opened Mason’s

2. Atomic Cafe

3. La Petite Rose


Best Hot Brown:

1. Ramsey’s

2. Columbia

3. Hall’s on the River


Best Local Dive:

1. Buffalo & Dad’s

2. Tolly Ho

3. Parkette

Best New Restaurant:

1. Shut Up and Eat

Lexington’s apparent heir to the Soup Nazi, New Jersey native, Doug Haas (above) is fitting right in. Don’t miss the floor show. He ended up in KY because he took a wrong turn on I-75. Requirements for employment-must have a pulse!

2. Joe’s Crab Shack

3. Mason’s


Best Place to Buy Bread:

1. Great Harvest

2. Atlanta Bread Co.

3. Cosmo’s


Best place to buy gourmet fixin’s:

1. Cosmo’s

2. Liquor Barn

3. Slone’s Signature Market


Best source of produce:

1. Farmer’s Market

2. Joseph Kelly’s City Market

3. Slone’s Signature Market


Best Caterer:

1. Phil Dunn

2. Catering by Donna Potter

3. Bleu Ribbon Catering


Best Pies:


1. Missy’s

Elizabeth Maggi, Chief cook, and bottle washer, is pictured with her most popular meringue stacked chocolate, coconut and butterscotch pies.

2. Dottie’s

3. Magee’s


Most Controversial Business Policy: The recent decision of a local coffee shop to forbid the admittance of patrons under the age of 18 without a chaperone. Granted, the shop was suffering from underage loiterers (the kind that hang out for six hours with one cup of coffee to show for it… you’ve seen ’em before), but wouldn’t a minimum purchase requirement for patrons be more practical, not to mention a little less discriminatory? -CJ

Most Disturbing Culinary Trend: a proliferation of chain restaurants that could sustain a city ten times our size, while locally owned and operated eateries fold faster than you can say “buffalo wings!” Potato skins anyone? -RR

A REAL Best: Local hemp beer. -SSY

Lead photo by Peggy Blythe Winner Photos by Kopana Terry




If there’s one thing we’ve learned in our second year of doing this, it’s that you can please none of the people all of the time-or however that goes.

A word or two about the process here. This year’s ballot was an effort to both improve on last year’s, eliminate stuffers (and go for better accuracy), and to offer some new and different categories.

Although readers also filled in a lot of “worst” suggestions (despite the fact that there’s ample opportunity to cover that in “Best Reason to Leave Lexington”-one hearty, optimistic soul actually wrote that that category was too negative and he or she refused to fill it out). Our favorite “worst” suggestion was “worst” thing about ACE. No thanks. Not a category you’re going to find this year or any other. Not a day goes by that some well-meaning reader doesn’t tell us how to do our job-whether it’s on the letters page-or at the grocery store, a cocktail party, an art opening, or a music show. We don’t need a ballot for it.

In this category, we do expect to make a few entries permanent, like “most beloved”-because as you know, things can turn around soooooo quickly in double Jeopardy. What’s beloved one year might be reviled the next. (Though that would never be true of last year’s winners, Ed McClanahan and Gatewood Galbraith.)

And finally, we thought it was self-evident (given the “Real Best of LEXINGTON” title of the ballot) that people were to provide local answers. Best “South Park Episode” is NOT the best category we haven’t thought of, because, as far as we know: South Park is not written or produced here (though you can, at least, thanks to the cable company’s reversal on the fascist and arbitrary removal of Comedy Central, watch it here). We disqualified “Kramer” as both “most beloved” and “sexiest” public figure because Seinfeld wasn’t written or produced here, and as far as we know, actor Michael Richards has no plans to relocate now that the show’s over. Again, disqualified. (We don’t happen to find him especially beloved or sexy, but aside from that, he is decidedly not local.)

Best New Building:

1. W. T. Young Library

Best Place to Ride a Horse:
1. Kentucky Horse Park

2. Masterson Station Park

Best Church Music:
1. Christ Church Cathedral

Best Local Deejay (talk):
1. Larry Joe Treadway

Best Church Ad Campaign:
1. St. Augustine’s

2. Unitarian

3. Central Christian

Best Golf Course:
1. Champions

2. Tie: Tates Creek; Andover; Gibson Bay

3. Marriott

Best Place to Exercise (indoors):
1. World Gym

2. Powerhouse

3. Jefferson Center

Best Place for Pickup Basketball:
1. Woodland Park

2. UK Blue Courts


Best Place to Buy a Riding Crop:
1. Carl Meyers Riding Apparel

2. The Rack

3. Retail Hell (folks, isn’t it out of business)

Best Place to CelebrateNCAA Championship:
1. Woodland and Euclid

2. At home

Best Place to Hide from NCAA Championship:
1. At home

2. North Carolina

3. “Nowhere to run/Nowhere to hide”

Best Act of Vandalism Inspired by ncaa Championship:
1. Burning the News Van

Best Local College Coach:
1. Tubby Smith

2. Hal Mumme

3. Bernadette Maddox


Best Example of Local Leadership:
1. Tubby Smith

2. Ernesto Scorsone

3. Hal Mumme

Best Local Politician:

1. Ernesto Scorsone

2. Gatewood Gailbraith

3. Pam Miller

Best Local Politician You Love-to-Hate:
1. Pam Miller

2. Tim Philpot

3. Scotty Baesler

Best Beloved Character/Personality

1. Tubby Smith
Tubby Smith, a big winner in the poll, is most beloved, sexiest, best coach in town-along with the “best example of local leadership.” And to think there was some hubbub over whether or not he’d “fit in” around these parts.

2. Gatewood Galbraith

3. Tie: Hal Mumme and Charlie Whittington

Best Evening Newscast
1. Channel 18, WLEX

2. Channel 36, WTVQ

3. Channel 27, WKYT

Best Local Meteorologist:
1. Stuart Shepard

2. Tom Sater

3. Brian Collins

Honorable mention: “look out the window”

Best local deejay (music):

1. Freakdaddy
Freakdaddy bears the honorable distinction of best local deejay AND biggest supporter of local music.

Best ACE Cover Story in Last Year:

1. Mother Teresa [“No Sacred Cows”]

2. Salvation in Salvisa [No Kill Animal Shelter]

3. Tie: The Sex Files/ The Blueberries/The New Loser/Cosmo Girls [Inside Lipstick Journalism]


Best Bike Trail: Oh that’s right, Lexington doesn’t have any. It’s bad enough that there are no true off-road biking trails within a 60 mile radius of the city. But with all of the scenic horse farms within Fayette County alone, it’s a real shame that narrow roads with no shoulders and 55 mph speed limits go through the vast majority of these areas. Would it be so bad to have at least a small shoulder, if not an actual bike lane, so that cyclists can take in the beauty of the Bluegrass without also taking the chance of becoming road pizza? -TP

Best Place for Larry Walsh’s gun: In his new safety holster. -RH

Most Annoying Political Trend: Prior to the November elections could we please call a moratorium on the use of children in all campaign ads? Nearly every primary race, from mayoral to congressional, featured kids trotted out as pint-sized whores for a particular party or candidate. It’s not cute, it’s exploitative. Whatever happened to child labor laws anyway? 


What they want, I don’t know. They’re all dressed up and ready to go.

Blitzkrieg Bop

 Lead photo by Peggy Blythe Winner Photos by Kopana Terry

ACE’s house band, Taildragger (with two members working here-we like to acknowledge that right up front) summed up the rock and roll experience for local bands rather well, in describing a recent gig where the promoter interrupted their set to enthuse, “YOU GUYS ARE GODS!!!” followed closely by the matter-of-fact assertion, “You got seven minutes.” (We should also point out that the fact that they won best new CD was not influenced by their employment-as ACE staff members are ineligible to vote.)

In winning the best veteran local band category, Joel Crisp of Catawampus Universe responded with something to the effect of “So we’ve won the still-standing-yet-too-immature-to-get-a-career-award?”

Voting was even lighter than last year in this category, and we thought last year’s entries represented a new low in apathy. Clearly we underestimated ourselves.

Confirming this “musicians can be their own worst enemies” philosophy, attempting to line up a few simple photo shoots for a few categories here were, for the most part, Sisyphean exercises in futility. Aerosmith returns calls faster than most local bands. Of course, Aerosmith has a phone.

There are some encouraging trends to report, however. Local bands are finally getting some airplay on local commercial radio. ACE is putting together a Christmas CD featuring all local bands, which we hope will be a big success (with proceeds going to charity).

As for the refreshing sentiment that simple talent will win out in the end, we only have one response, and two theories. You can take your pick. 1. Cream rises. Or, 2. Shit floats. (Hint: if this seems like a trick question, examine the box office returns for the Garth Brooks “series”-while Ray Davies couldn’t get arrested when he had the misfortune of playing the Kentucky Theatre on the night of the Seinfeld finale.)


Best New Local CD:

1. Taildragger: Anywhere Nowhere

Although nepotism does rule, ACE staff (which contains two members of Taildragger) did not get to vote in this, or any other, category.)

2. Catawampus Universe Golden Monkey Fist (not new folks!)

3. Mulch Drilling Rig

Best Veteran Local Band:
1. Catawampus Universe

2. Supafuzz

3. Blueberries

Best Local Songwriter:
1. Paul K

2. Otto Helmuth

3. Frank Schapp

Biggest Supporter of Local Music
1. Freakdaddy

2. Lynagh’s

3. Mary Smith

Best Live Show in Last Year:
1. Ray Davies

2. Tie: Asylum Street Spankers; Merle Haggard

3. Leo Kottke

Sexiest Local Band:

photo by Kopana Terry

1. Rose to Lara
Members of Rose to Lara try to look sexy while simultaneously avoiding pissing off their wives, who dictated the terms of the shoot.

2. G-Funk

3. Lily Pons

Best $$ for Your Used CDs:
1. CD Central

2. Cut Corner

3. Disc Go Round

Source of Music Equipment/Instruments:
1. Doo Wop Shop

2. Carl’s

3. Willcut

Best Record Store:
1. Disc Jockey

2. Cut Corner

3. Best Buy

Best Place to See Live Music:
1. Lynagh’s

2. Kentucky Theatre

3. A1A

Best Place to Spot a Drag Queen:
1. The Bar

2. Club 141

3. Madden Derby Party

Best Place to Dance:
1. Millennium

2. Club 141

3. Tie: At home; Vertigo

Best Bar to Watch a uk Game:
1. Two Keys

2. Lynagh’s

3. BW3

Honorable Mention: “I am the only guy in town who is not a UK fan.”

Best Place to shoot Pool:
1. Buster’s

2. Shooters

3. Lexington City Brewery

Best Place to Get a (Bowling) Lane:
1. Southland Bowling Lanes

2. Eastland Bowling Lanes


Best Rock Joint Turned Juice Bar/Aerobic Studio: BodyWork. Sweat Then. Sweat Now. -SSY

Best local website in support of local music: Serviceable. User-friendly. Not too flashy, but a well-intentioned resource. -staff


I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.

-Gilda Radner

Lead photo by Peggy Blythe Winner Photos by Kopana Terry

Life’s easy. Shopping is hard.

Everything from buying a computer to a car to a pair of sandals can spark a nervous breakdown in the faint of heart.

Fortunately, our readers have weighed in with their opinions on some places out there that may just make this area of your life a little easier.


Best Antiques Dealer:

1. Heritage Antiques


Best Auto Dealer:

1. Don Jacobs

2. Saturn of Lexington

3. Tie: Green’s Toyota; Toyota on Nicholasville

Honorable Mention: “They all suck.”


Best Place to Buy Tires:

1. S&S Firestone

2. Big O

3. Tie: NTB/Sam’s Club


Best Place to Buy Computer:

1. Best Buy

2. Comp USA

3. Mail Order


Best Electronics Store:

1. Best Buy

2. Barney Miller’s

3. Tie: Circuit City/Ovation


Best Used/Neighborhood Bookstore:

1. Black Swan

Owner, Mike Courtney, shows off fine literary fare to be had in a neighborhood setting. Opened 1986, expanded in 1997; now houses 3 1/2 times more inventory than before. Located in Woodland Triangle.

2. Book Gallery

3. Book Exchange, Chevy Chase


Best pet store:

1. Incredipet

2. Most Valuable Pets

3. Tie: Best Pets/Animal House


Best Women’s Clothing:

1. Tribeca

The “mannequins” in the window: Cassie Harpel (L) Shay Weaver and Owner, Becky Neal.

2. Bella Rose

3. Tie: McAlpin’s; Worlds Apart


Best Men’s Clothing:

1. Abercrombie and Fitch

2. TJ Maxx

3. Tie: Dawahare’s; McAlpin’s; Gap


Best Outlet for the Outdoors Person in You:

1. Phillip Gall

2. J&H Lan-Mark/Outfitters


Place to Shop for Person Who has everything:

1. Sqecial Media

Sqecial sales staff are always happy to model a little bit of “everything.”

2. Artique

3. Bluegrass Bazaar


Best Nursery/Garden Supplies:

1. Hillenmeyer Nursery

2. Lowe’s

3. Michler’s


Best Place to Buy Baby Gift:

1. Spoiled Rotten

2. Tie: Isle of You/Animal Crackers

3. Lazarus


Best Kid’s Clothing:

1. Animal Crackers

Sharp dressed man, Howard, shops with an eye towards what’s hot next season.

2. Baby/Kids Gap

3. Spoiled Rotten


Best Local Urban Legend: Purchasing hemp shampoo will get you arrested. -SSY



Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with blood all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”



Lead photo by Peggy Blythe Winner Photos by Kopana Terry

otice we really took last year’s readers’ suggestions to heart about how our ballot was too skewed towards the “young folks.”Gone is the tattoo/piercing category, replaced by best retirement home.

We live to please.

Best Local Architect:
1. Gray Construction et al.

2. Ekhoff, Ochenkiski and Polk

3. Scott Guyon

Best Commercial Photographer:
1. Tie: Fritz Cole; Forrest Payne; Bill Strauss

2. James Archambeault

Best Bike Repair:
1. Pedal Power

2. Everybody’s

3. Scheller’s

Best Quick Oil Change:
1. Valvoline

2. Jiffy Lube

3. Exhaust Pro

Best Retirement Home:
1. Richmond Place

2. Lafayette

3. Tanbark

Honorable Mention: Lexington Cemetery

Best Financial Planner:
1. Garret Headley

Best Pediatrician:
1. Dr. Mack

Best Travel Agency:
1. Avant Travel Agency

2. Global Travel

3. AAA Travel

Best Veterinarian:

1. Eric Headley at Chevy Chase Small Animal Clinic

Best vet, Dr. Headley keeps a close eye on very special patient, Travis.

2. Nicholasville Animal Hospital

3. Lansdowne Veterinary Clinic

Best Place to Get Home Equity Loan:
1. Bank One

2. First Security Bank of Lexington

Fastest Drive-Thru Banking:
1. Bank One

2. National City

3. Fifth Third

Best Eye doctor:
1. Dr. William Collis

2. Dr. Barbara Crutchfield

Best Dentist:
1. Dr. Catherine Fowler

Best Chiropractor:
1. Anthony Bastecki

2. Bill Heaton

Best HMO:
1. UK Medical Center

2. Advantage Care

3. Bluegrass Family Health

Best Place to Go with a Medical Emergency:
1. “Duh. A hospital.”

2. “Duh. An emergency room.”

3. “Duh. Your doctor.”

Best Hairdresser:
1. Angela Hampton at Hairport

2. Shelly Wade at Salon 1050

3. Mark Lewis at Trademark

Best Masseuse/Masseur:
1. Richard Rudzik at Monogram

2. Brett Ledbetter at Basic Knead Massage Clinic

3. Tie: Steve Yates; Kim Armstrong

Honorable Mention: a wide variety of pornographic selections.

Best Computer Repair:
1. Kentucky Trade Computers

2. Microcomputer Solutions

3. Best Buy

Best Local Website:
1. ACE Magazine (


3. Herald Leader (



Sometimes, I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door, and just visit now and then.

-Katharine Hepburn

Lead photo by Peggy Blythe Winner Photos by Kopana Terry


When we started the ACE book club this time last year, we could tell by many of the initial emails, notes, and phone calls  that a lot of the potential members had read up on “how to meet the opposite sex.” Forgetting the first rule of engagement which is that you should actually enjoy the activity that you’re pursuing in hopes of landing a mate. If you haven’t passed beyond Bridges of Madison County in terms of literacy, perhaps a book club isn’t going to be the place you meet your Mr./Ms. Right, or Right Now. Maybe some of those people never showed up because they were put off once they found out about the crushing burden of reading a book a month.

In other words, if you’re afraid of bugs, an outdoors club is only going to land you with a Yukon Jack or Jill and a lifetime supply of Deep Woods Off.

Relax. Far more people get married than don’t. Far more people have sex than don’t. If those are personal goals of yours, get on with your life and-much like a train wreck or a mugging or a terrorist attack (depending on your point of view)-sooner or later they’ll happen to you. Probably when you least expect it.

But feel free to avail yourself of the readers’ tips included in this poll if you still need help.

Sexiest Local Male Public Figure
(not your mate):
1. Tubby Smith
The winner in a landslide; no one else even came close. His magnetism and charisma clearly belie his nickname.

Sexiest Local Female Public Figure
(not your mate):

1. Anita Madden
Local hostess with the mostest demonstrates the sexy sort of garb that got her elected in this category.

2. Tie: Tracy Kornet; Andrea Sayre
Best Place to Buy Lingerie (girls vote):
1. Victoria’s Secret

2. Lazarus

Best Place to Buy Lingerie (boys vote):
1. Victoria’s Secret

2. The Rack

Best Place to Buy Boxers:
1. The Gap

2. Abercrombie and Fitch

3. Tie: McAlpin’s; Lazarus

Best Place to Buy a How-To Book:
1. Joseph Beth

2. Sqecial Media

3. The Bookstore (Woodhill)

Best X-rated Video Selection:
1. Video Maxx

2. Film Festival

3. Winchester Road

Best Condom Selection/Safe Sex Supplies:
1. Rite Aid

2. Tie: Wal-Mart; Video Maxx

3. Health Dept or Planned Parenthood

Best “Adult Entertainment” Spot:
1. Tie: Pure Gold; Thee Clubhouse

2. Solid Platinum

Best Restaurant to Get You ‘in the Mood’
1. a la lucie

2. Roy and Nadine’s

3. Amelia’s Field

Honorable Mention: “Long John’s”

Best Place to Buy a Wedding Ring (web version):
1. Artique

Best place to propose:
1. Triangle Park

Best Place for a Nooner:
1. HOME!

2. Jacobson Park (somebody alert parks and rec)

Best Place to “Meet & Greet”(20 somethings):
1. Cheapside

2. Millennium on Wednesday’s

3. McCarthy’s

Best Place to “Meet & Greet”(30 Somethings):
1. Joseph Beth

2. Cheapside

Best Place to “Meet & Greet” (40s & Up):
1. Joseph Beth

2. Merrick Inn

3. Porn stores on Winchester

Best Anniversary Gift:
1. A divorce

2. Jewelry

3. Tie: cash/sex




Top Five Reasons to Live in Lexington:
1. “I work here.”

2. “Too lazy to move.”

3. “It’s not Winchester.”

4. “My wife won’t let me move.”

5. “Beautiful horses and fast women.”

Top Five Reasons to Leave Lexington:
1. “Traffic.”

2. “Unchecked Development.”

(“Growth is NOT good. It’s a cancer.”)

3. “Disappearing arts and culture and entertainment.”

4. “My family lives here.”

5. “Horseracing; Garth Brooks playing three shows and Bjork playing none; Nicholasville is too close; too many closeminded people; nothing to do here except stay home and read. Also, the worst drivers in the world… why can’t people use turn signals?!”

6. Honorable Mention: No Starbucks

Top Five Reasons to Pick Up ACE:
1. Reality Truck

2. Rob Hulsman

3. Tie: Real Astrology/Leold

4. “The alternatives suck.”

5. “A nice dose of sarcasm with the morning coffee.”

Honorable Mention: “The best reason is the ‘one stop shopping.’ If I want it, I can find it in ACE. Even the ads are original and in keeping with the spirit of the magazine. Although you probably won’t appreciate it, my favorite source of humor (besides Leold and Real Astrology) is the Meeting Place. My overall source of entertainment for humor, insight and just plain good writing is, of course, Reality Truck. Keep up the good work.” (Editor’s Note: Thanks. Your check’s in the mail.)

Best Category We Haven’t Thought Of:
1. Best Mountain Bike Store

2. Best Sunday Brunch

3. Best Sunday Nites

4. Best Bed &Breakfast

5. Best Neighborhood For Yard Sales

6. Best Ad Campaign In Lexington

7. Best Beer List (Did Last Year)

8. Best South Park Episode (Not Local)

9. Worst Of Lexington

(A Whole Nother Story)